About Me

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I am a 29-ish yr old married mother of 8. My family is my life and I wouldn't have it any other way. My darling husband is my very best friend and together we are raising 8 of the best kids in the world! They are Rose(12) Sarah(12) Ammon(10) Malachi(8) Gabriel(7) Hannah(5) Maggie(4) and Abbie(3) We currently own 2 dogs, 1 bird, 5 chinchillas, 1,000,000 rabbits, 1 cat, 4.5 horses, and one ferret. We just purchased a home that is definately a "fixer-upper", with land and room for the kids to roam. Our goal is to run a mostly self sustaining farm and live in peace as we grow as a strong family unit. We have seen our fair share of hardships, but we are thankful for the many blessings the Lord gives us on a regular basis!

Saturday, January 17, 2009

The other side...

I was going to write a sweet and witty letter to a lady that I had a run in with at Sam's club today. But then I remembered that's been done before. If you're up for some good reading I highly recommend that you click_here. It's from my cousin J's blog archive. Scroll about half way down the page to a post entitled "The Wisdom to Truly succeed". In this particular post she writes a letter to that woman we've all had to deal with. You know the type; perfect hair, perfect children, her mother is there to help her in case she needs to run to the IKEA restroom to sanitize the perfect pacifier that fell on the floor. You know, the one that gives you the "mean look" because your children are behaving less than perfect, and some how, you never manage to look or feel perfect when she's around!

I don't know why, but I always try to act as sweet as possible to the mean-look-lady. She never deserves it but each time I am so caught off guard by her behavior that I give her more than enough room in the isle at the grocery store. I ooh and awe over her children if a chance arises. I even make my child apologize politely to her when she bumps into them!

Here's the thing, tonight I was the "mean look lady"! I not only gave a mean look but said something hateful too! I am admitting this because I feel so horrible about it. It was COMPLETELY out of character for me. I almost wrote out a list of reasons why I did it. but I realize that there was no excuse for my behavior. No matter how tired or annoyed I was, I had no right to try to make someone else feel as though they were any thing less than a child of God.

There are two really sad things about this experience:

First-I have no idea why I did it! There have been so many times that I have sat crying in a parking lot, after trying to keep my composure the entire way out of the store, because the mean-look-lady had glanced in my direction. I have always pictured those women as heartless; with snotty children that would grow up bedecked with fine clothing, surrounded by fancy things, and never knowing the meaning of charitable love. (because their mother was obviously incapable of it) I'm not that kind of woman... or am I?

Second-I can't make it right! I won't ever see that lady at Sam's again. She will never know that I was tired and PMS-ing. Nor will she ever know that I understand what it's like to have evenings like the one she was having. No, to her I am just another heartless mean-look-lady that she can add to her list of people that have kicked her when she was down. She will never know how sorry I am tonight or that I felt compelled to blog about it. She will never know that I know she is a daughter of God and that she is probably doing her best to be a good wife and mother. (I was rude to her husband too)

So, on behalf of all mean look ladies out there (I can say that because I am officially one) I'd like to apologize on our behalf. We are tired, and cramping... and annoyed (maybe not at you but you're close enough)... and it won't cause a fight with our husbands if we lash out at you. So the next time one of us looks down on you and makes you feel bad remember that you are a daughter of your Heavenly Father and we'll probably remember that...shortly after we've hurt your feelings. Some of us (though not all) will come looking for you in hopes of apologizing. Only, you won't be around for us to say we're sorry.

Please except my apology... All joking aside... sincerely... and humbly. We will try not to ever let it happen again.

5 comments:

Cali and Travis said...

You've humbled me to realizing that I was "Mean-Look-Lady" for many, many years before I had the world's busiest 10 month old.

Stephanie said...

I suppose that will help us all on those days when the mean look lady makes us want to cry. I can't imagine you being her though.

Darryl and Cindy said...

Oh how I love you sweetheart!!!

Kermit Crew said...

Erica~ You are precious! I have been hurt by the 'mean-look" lady before, but I am happy to say it's getting easier for me to deal with her, in all the places she seems to show up for me. I admire you so much! I loved this post and the honesty with which it was written! I KNOW that Heavenly Father can get a message to her, for you! Somehow He will be able to let her know that she's just as precious as you and that you are praying for her! That's just one of life's little miracles...and one of life's lessons too. You are such a great example of self reflection and honesty! I truly do admire you! :0)

PHIL & ELISABETH BENGE said...

ok, so I feel really bad and super judge mental..... I' am the mean look lady... with my high heel boots, and my baby that doesnt take a pacifier, my boys who walk beside me taking up the whole isle making everyone else move out of the way for us.... I never pay attention to people around me, and if they get a glance from me its beause they are throwing pebbles in my pool of tranquility... So I'm sorry, Maybe I'll blog about this too,