About Me

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I am a 29-ish yr old married mother of 8. My family is my life and I wouldn't have it any other way. My darling husband is my very best friend and together we are raising 8 of the best kids in the world! They are Rose(12) Sarah(12) Ammon(10) Malachi(8) Gabriel(7) Hannah(5) Maggie(4) and Abbie(3) We currently own 2 dogs, 1 bird, 5 chinchillas, 1,000,000 rabbits, 1 cat, 4.5 horses, and one ferret. We just purchased a home that is definately a "fixer-upper", with land and room for the kids to roam. Our goal is to run a mostly self sustaining farm and live in peace as we grow as a strong family unit. We have seen our fair share of hardships, but we are thankful for the many blessings the Lord gives us on a regular basis!

Friday, March 7, 2008

Sick Kids...Crying babies...and Whiney Friends!

Except for my bread posting I really haven't taken the time to write this week. Mostly because of my mood! My kiddos have been really sick and Abbie doesn't seem to be happy unless she's being held and I just haven't felt like sharing happy thoughts...Have I had any happy thoughts this week? I'm sure I have. They've got to be in there some where.

Any way, between being sick myself, dealing with my sick hacking children and husband (darling as they may be) and trying to maintain my house I really had had my fill of trying to be cheery. When all your energy is spent it just seems to take to much out of you when you think someone is being foolish.

A friend of mine called me this week to tell me all about how horrid her husband is...AGAIN! Knowing her situation isn't the best I tried to be patient and listen. Please keep in mind that this friend is a temple endowed mother of five. As she went down the list of crimes her husband has been committing recently, and not so recently, and last year, and 5years ago, and so on... It began to wear on my patience!

This woman is one of my dearest friends but some times I feel like I am listening to a recording of previous conversations. She tells me how her husband doesn't obey certain commandments pertaining to marriage (non of which are serious infractions) and I remind her that he is human and tell her she needs to forgive him. At which she begins to tell me she does forgive him...and then gives me the list of all of the things she has forgiven him for! Ahhh!

Do I have the word forgive all wrong? Isn't part of forgiving...forgetting? I know it's impossible to completely erase some things from your memory but my husband and Ihave this unwritten rule. We don't rehash past arguments. If I mulled over all of the sins that John has committed toward me and our children over the past 11 years of marriage there would be NO WAY for us to live in harmony. I assume that the same would be true if he were to maintain a running list of my infractions.

So any way, there I go again listing my values and thoughts on marriage and husbands...I could write a book. Heaven knows I have plenty of opinions! She's too picky...If she doesn't like fighting she should STOP... She should be more patient...more loving...more kind...blah, blah, blah...

All of a sudden, in the middle of a sentence, I realize that I am saying exactly what I need to hear! My friend jumped off the phone with me super fast. She always does when I start to tell her she's wrong. So there I was sitting..and THINKING. It seems that every time I start to become annoyed with my husband this friend calls. So I began to wonder and I've been thinking about it.

Could it be that my heavenly Father knows what I know, and knows that I just need to be reminded of that knowledge from time to time. Hmmmmm. Pretty interesting when you think about it.

I do not ever want to become a "husband brasher" again! I was one once and it nearly destroyed my marriage. I worked hard to get out of that habit. I truly believe that my friend is the very image that I could become and it scares me more than I can say. When I have been married more than 20 years (as my friend has) I would hate to be so bitter and angry toward my husband. The years of angry nasty feelings, I fear, will destroy their marriage and children eventually.

I pray that the Lord continues to guide me in loving and forgiving my husband on a regular basis. I pray that my husband will always be as forgiving of my faults as he is now. I am so thankful for my marriage and my family and the gospel that is such a part of our daily life.

I don't really know if there is a point to any of what I say and I am sure I'll need to proof read some things but all I know is that we, American women, would just get over that "Women are the dominant species" crap, we would be a lot happier and the divorce rate would plummet to all time lows! Women, lets ban together and choose to support, love, understand, and reverence our husbands!


Cathy Shields said...

Sorry you are sick and totally understand your post. Sometimes (Most of the time) what we hate in others is a trait we hate in ourselves. I hate to nag on book club but as I have said before it made me realize some of the things you are realizing about marriage. Next time you talk to your friend, tell her to read "Strangling your Husband is NOT an Option" by Merrilee Browne Boyack. It is an lds book and when I got it I was thinking "ok what is an option". Turned me around fast. If your friend doesn't want to help her marriage she won't get through the first chapter. It is a wonderful book and I think the title attracts more women than not. But believe me, it did me a world of good. It isn't a book we all read in book club but one of the alternates. We always get a choice of 3 books and we vote on the one that we want to read as a group but we can also buy the others at the reduced price too. This book is a marriage saver! Under the title it says "A Practical Guide to Dramatically Improving Your Marriage"---it does!

William said...

Husband Bashing bad. You must be nice to husband at all times, and his friends. (Yea I have been trained in the art of online hypnotism)