If I had a nickle for every time some one asked me that, I would be a millionaire.
I have also heard "Wow, you're brave!" "Are they all yours?" " ...and you brought them ALL out in public?" "You need a T.V." and my personal favorite " Don't you know what causes that?
My reply to the latter varies depending on my mood. I like to look at them with a very Innocent stare as "Nooooo Could you please tell me." One time I was feeling quite angry, so I looked at this woman and said "Yup sure do...and it is SO MUCH FUN!"
Nothing will beat the time when a woman in her 70s very sweetly took me by the hand and patted it. Then held hit very firm and said in a sincere quiet voice..."It's OK to tell your husband 'NO' " I was so shocked by the level of concern in her voice that I just picked up my baby and told my other 5 "Okay kids lets go"
I would like to know why people feel that they have the right to make comment on such an intimate and sacred part of my life. I would never, NEVER, walk up to a stranger that had no children with her and say, "You know if you'd just....... you could get pregnant!"
Why is the fact that I have so many children an automatic invitation for perfect strangers to open their mouths and say some of the most insensitive (and stupid) things.
Here's what is really getting to me lately. Pretty much my entire motherhood career people have been asking "Are you done Yet?" (UGGGGGG!) Up to this point, my reply has been a sweet smile and a quick "I don't know. It depends on what the Lord has in store for us." Now here I am taking my 8 babies out in public and people are making all the same comments and asking the same old questions.
Most of you know that during my last delivery a partial hysterectomy was needed to stop some bleeding. It wasn't an extremely life threatening situation...but it WAS an emotionally challenging one. Can you imagine having that thrown up in your face every time you leave the house? It's kinda' like the scarlet letter only I need a big H (for hysterectomy)...The kids can be my drummers.
I would love to have 20 children. But my body just couldn't handle it any more! (19 pregnancies in 11 years will do that to you) So now, not only do I have to live with the fact that I'll never feel a baby moving in my belly again, and I'll never nurse another baby again, I'll never have any of the joys associated with pregnancy ever again....but I have to give one of two answers to that very irritating question...
option A) Spill my guts to a perfect stranger so that they have no doubt what my point of view is, because I would never want some pro-choice liberal to use me as an example of some one who regrets the number of children they have- "Unfortunately I had to have and unplanned partial hysterectomy during my last delivery so it looks like I won't be having and more biologically, but we hope to adopt someday."
option B) Give the short and sweet answer with no explanation. "Yes" Allowing them to walk away think what ever they want.
Either way, I walk away feeling completely violated and almost ashamed of the fact that I have 8 of the most amazing kids in the world! There is something wrong with this picture!
I'd like to point out that my children are VERY well behaved in public. With VERY FEW exceptions we can walk through any store and not hear "can I have..." and on the rare instances when that does happen a quick "No" quiets them again. I have never had a child throw a fit in the store longer than the two seconds it takes me to jerk a knot in their tail.
While I have had the regular shower of compliments one might expect when taking eight well behaved children, I must say that the ratio has to be at least 4 to 1 (with compliments being the minority). I am sure that most of the people mean no harm. I would suspect that most are intrigued and a large portion are some what envious. I think that most people want to just start a conversation with me... and they think that a "funny" comment will break the ice.
Here is my advice to any of you that my be tempted to make a comment to a mother with more children than you have...If you can say "Boy, you have your hands full" You can just as easily say "Here, let me get the door for you". Don't offer advice on birth control (especially in front of her children or you might get your eye balls scratched out) praise her on her beautiful family...tell her how lucky she is!
Sorry about my rambling but I just realized today that the idea of taking my children out in public turns my stomach. Not because of them but because of the world's view and it's insensitivity to such private matters.
- I am a 29-ish yr old married mother of 8. My family is my life and I wouldn't have it any other way. My darling husband is my very best friend and together we are raising 8 of the best kids in the world! They are Rose(12) Sarah(12) Ammon(10) Malachi(8) Gabriel(7) Hannah(5) Maggie(4) and Abbie(3) We currently own 2 dogs, 1 bird, 5 chinchillas, 1,000,000 rabbits, 1 cat, 4.5 horses, and one ferret. We just purchased a home that is definately a "fixer-upper", with land and room for the kids to roam. Our goal is to run a mostly self sustaining farm and live in peace as we grow as a strong family unit. We have seen our fair share of hardships, but we are thankful for the many blessings the Lord gives us on a regular basis!