Dear Meanlooklady,

You have no idea what kind of day I had. Yes, yes, I know. I went grocery shopping at 11:00 at night, in filthy jeans, a nasty sweatshirt, hair that was so grimy it might have stayed in a ponytail even if I had taken the scrunchy out, and I'm sure the smell of horse manure still lingered in the air around me.
I know you saw that I had a cart full of convenience foods and I know it took forever for me to load everything on the conveyor belt. The price check annoyed me almost as much as it did you. I would have just had the checkout boy put the waffles back but I had promised them to my daughter.
I saw you roll your eyes and it made me squirm a little, but I wasn't about to let my baby girl go without her waffles. I heard your sigh as you tapped your toe trying to make it obvious that you were annoyed. But when you glared at me... and then refused to make eye contact with me as you began texting, I became a little angry myself.
I was tired. My head hurt and I was aching from the physical labor I had been doing all day. I had spent the day dealing with horses, tiling a bathroom with a grouchy husband, and watching my daughter bury her pet bird of nearly seven years. (By the way, this is the same daughter that I promised the waffles to.) I hadn't showered because I still hadn't been home yet. My kids were out in the van with with my grouchy (and now exhausted) husband.
So I took a breath, and squared my shoulders, and I decided I wasn't angry with you any more.
You see, I've been you, Girlie. I know what it's like to be dressed to the hilt and in a hurry. I know what it's like to be impatient and angry at the world. It's so easy to get ticked off when the checkout boy moves a little to slowly for your pace. Its so easy to feel superior to the white trash with the cartful of frozen pizzas and sugar based cereals.
But Sweety, there is something you need to know. One day it will happen to you. You will be caught unaware. Someone will be there to knock you down. When it happens for the first time, you will most likely return to your car; fighting tears the entire way. You will rehash, over and over, what you did wrong, and and how unjustly you were treated. You will cry because you allowed someone to stomp on you. You will be angry and hurt and, hopefully, you will seek out a friend that has a shoulder to cry on. I hope you have one that will comfort you and get angry for you because that is so hard to deal with.
But tonight? Tonight there are no tears from me. I have seen both sides and, while you almost got to me, I will not be pulled down. I am a mother... and a wife and... most importantly... a daughter of God. I went back to my van full of snoring children, loaded up my groceries, kissed my husband, and came home to write you a little note.
Yours Truly,
Erica

The other side...

I was going to write a sweet and witty letter to a lady that I had a run in with at Sam's club today. But then I remembered that's been done before. If you're up for some good reading I highly recommend that you click_here. It's from my cousin J's blog archive. Scroll about half way down the page to a post entitled "The Wisdom to Truly succeed". In this particular post she writes a letter to that woman we've all had to deal with. You know the type; perfect hair, perfect children, her mother is there to help her in case she needs to run to the IKEA restroom to sanitize the perfect pacifier that fell on the floor. You know, the one that gives you the "mean look" because your children are behaving less than perfect, and some how, you never manage to look or feel perfect when she's around!

I don't know why, but I always try to act as sweet as possible to the mean-look-lady. She never deserves it but each time I am so caught off guard by her behavior that I give her more than enough room in the isle at the grocery store. I ooh and awe over her children if a chance arises. I even make my child apologize politely to her when she bumps into them!

Here's the thing, tonight I was the "mean look lady"! I not only gave a mean look but said something hateful too! I am admitting this because I feel so horrible about it. It was COMPLETELY out of character for me. I almost wrote out a list of reasons why I did it. but I realize that there was no excuse for my behavior. No matter how tired or annoyed I was, I had no right to try to make someone else feel as though they were any thing less than a child of God.

There are two really sad things about this experience:

First-I have no idea why I did it! There have been so many times that I have sat crying in a parking lot, after trying to keep my composure the entire way out of the store, because the mean-look-lady had glanced in my direction. I have always pictured those women as heartless; with snotty children that would grow up bedecked with fine clothing, surrounded by fancy things, and never knowing the meaning of charitable love. (because their mother was obviously incapable of it) I'm not that kind of woman... or am I?

Second-I can't make it right! I won't ever see that lady at Sam's again. She will never know that I was tired and PMS-ing. Nor will she ever know that I understand what it's like to have evenings like the one she was having. No, to her I am just another heartless mean-look-lady that she can add to her list of people that have kicked her when she was down. She will never know how sorry I am tonight or that I felt compelled to blog about it. She will never know that I know she is a daughter of God and that she is probably doing her best to be a good wife and mother. (I was rude to her husband too)

So, on behalf of all mean look ladies out there (I can say that because I am officially one) I'd like to apologize on our behalf. We are tired, and cramping... and annoyed (maybe not at you but you're close enough)... and it won't cause a fight with our husbands if we lash out at you. So the next time one of us looks down on you and makes you feel bad remember that you are a daughter of your Heavenly Father and we'll probably remember that...shortly after we've hurt your feelings. Some of us (though not all) will come looking for you in hopes of apologizing. Only, you won't be around for us to say we're sorry.

Please except my apology... All joking aside... sincerely... and humbly. We will try not to ever let it happen again.