Copy Cats...well Copy Pumpkins anyway!

After seeing Malachi with his face painted like a jack o' lantern, all of the other kids decided they wanted to do it too! So... I went all out and made a Pumpkin Patch! Happy Halloween Every one!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!!Common'! I mean seriously! This kid looses a tooth the week before Halloween and you honestly
expected me to pass up the opportunity to do THIS!?!

HELP!!!!

Okay ladies....
shhh! Don't tell any one... but I have a NASTY shower! I'd show pics but I'm too embarrassed! (and I don't want to give any one nightmares!) I've tried every thing! Strait bleach, Lime away, Magic Erasers, Mr Clean (two kinds), just plain Clorox Clean Up, CLR... My cleaning closet is full of cleaners that aren't working!
HELP! HELP! HELP!
Do any of you have some secret cleaner that I don't know about?

Can't sleep!

Well it's about 2 hours past bedtime. I'm exhausted and I can barely keep my eyes open. None of the thoughts I am having are very clear. Abbie is FINALLY sleeping through the night and I can't fall asleep.
Why?
It's very simple..
I miss my Honey!
I love you Papa Bear!

Gabie turns 5!

I can hardly believe that my sweet Gabie Baby is 5 now! He is so bright and loving! Always the helper, he is notorious for over hearing things and just going to do them. I love his smile, and yes, his eyes too! He can't wait until his bigger like his brothers and I don't have the heart to tell him that they will always be older than him.Since we only have parties on certain birthdays (1, 8, 12, & 16) we always try to make birthdays extra special days. Each kiddo gets what they want for dinner and then they choose their cake.
This year Gabie wanted a red one with chocolate icing and a star wars theme. The thing was, he wanted to make his cake all by himself! He did such an awesome job! He measured the oil and water and even cracked the eggs with minimal help from me!
It was a Red Velvet mix! The figures doubled as his gift!
I have no idea how all that batter got on his face!

Here's his finished product!
He got a big kick out of the fact that we sang "May the force be with you!" instead of "Happy Birthday to you"
(same melody though)
Then (in big 5-yr-old-boy fashion) he cut it and passed out the pieces!

Happy Birthday Ammon!

You can't get much brighter than Ammon's sweet smile!

For those of you who don't know, Ammon turned 8 on September 2! I can't believe it! He is getting soooo big! He is so shy with every one, and rarely speaks to people out side our home but around here he is just one of the crew!He is the perfect big brother! He is enjoying reading and playing a lot of video games lately. (Doctors orders) He's not allowed to run around to much or tire himself out until we get his seizures under control!

We've put off his baptism until December. We were all to sick in September.

Ammon chose an "under water" theme for his party! We had a little trouble finding the decorations we needed but we lucked out with luau stuff on clearance!

I cannot tell you how much it pleases me to see him genuinely excited about something. He rarely asks for anything and is always so subdued that it was a real treat to see him so thrilled with his party!

We tried to make the house feel like we were under water! So we used a lot of blue and green! Ammon's favorite touch was all of the "bubbles" on the table. Funny thing...They tasted an awful lot like those white m&ms you buy for weddings!

We couldn't find any cakes to go with his theme so I bought a bunch of mini animals and ordered a Sponge Bob cake with out the characters!He loved it!

We also blew up about 150 balloons! We made an ocean out of the trampoline. We were going to divide everyone up into two groups and let them have a contest to see which team could pop the most, but it was so hot that the balloons were all popping on their own! So they just bounced on the tramp until they were out of balloons.

Hannah's song

In case you're wondering...She's singing "My Little Ponies."
She made this song up all by her self! Isn't she so talented!
PS. Pay no attention to the naked baby running around in the background!

I was tagged!

It amazes me how small the world is! How is it, that people I know and that live one side of the world (ok, country) can be doing the SAME tag as other people that I know that live on the other side, when they don't know each other?
It REALLY makes me want to do some serious blog hopping to see how many hops it takes to get from one to another. It's like that tootsie roll pop thing! Jeez!
Anyway thanks Stephanie J!


8 t.v. shows I love to watch...
1) NCIS
2) CSI
3) CSI Miami
4) animal planet documentaries
5) Any animal cops show!
6)Take home chef
7) That Wedding cake show on TLC
8)Kitchen nightmares!

8 things that happened yesterday...
1) We took Abbie to the ER (Hannah head butted her!)
2) I got rear ended! (Just one day after the same thing happened to John!)
3) I decorated for Halloween (well Jed did anyway)
3) I paid for my Lion King Musical tickets!!! (we're taking 6 kids and my MIL!)
4) Jed lost my dog for 4 hours!!!! I found a "Found Dog" poster and got her back!
5) Abbie stood for the first time!
6) We had chicken enchiladas for dinner (a favorite here!)
7) I cried for 3 hours for no particular reason at all!
8) My husband rubbed my shoulders for a little while as I was folding laundry!

8 things I'm looking forward to...
1) John coming home!
2) Lion King!
3) Rose and Sarah's first orchestra performance!
4) Grand kids!
5) Peace and quiet
6) Haloween!
7) the Holiday season to be over!
8) OH! ..... The State Fair!!!

8 things on my wish list...
1) to be a better mom
2) A week away with my husband
3) a cockatoo
4) a clean house
5) my teeth fixed
6) an embroidery machine
7) my kids to have more/better friends
8)a basement to send the kids to play on hot days (Why don't we have basements out here anyway)

8 people who I'm tagging...
Ummm... Stephanie H, Missy, Jabyn, Rose, Sarah, Liesha, Andrea, and Cindy

OMG!

http://link.brightcove.com/services/player/bcpid1815820715?bctid=1822459319

A friend of mine had this link on her blog! It is very similar to the Prop 102 here in AZ. If it is legal to teach children about this in public school with out parental notification what is stopping them from teaching them about sex or any other moral issue?
Forget about whether gay marriage is right or wrong! Where are the rights of the parents? What about the child's right to stay Innocent? Do we need to amend the constitution to include the specific rights of CHILDREN? Of course you KNOW that's not gonna happen, because then Roe v Wade could be thrown out!
Come on people! This is NOT what our founding fathers had in mind when they wrote the stinkin' constitution! They wanted to PROTECT the INNOCENT... not corrupt them!

A Little On Women...

Forcing my husband and nephew to watch a show on TLC about wedding cakes sure can bring up interesting conversation.

In the middle of this particular show the woman making the cake explained how she normally tries to focus on what the bride wants for her cake and she pretty much tunes the groom out, because "...after all, this is HER day!"

Jedidiah seemed to be a little irritated by this comment and he started talking about how it's "BOTH of their day" and blah blah blah...

John, who up until this point, had his face buried in his lap top "working", said, "Jed your WRONG. It's the BRIDES day."

Jed began to try to plead his case. At which point John cut him off.

"Let me put it to you this way, Jed. How long have you been planning your wedding?"

"Huh?" The confused look on Jeds face said it all.

Then John turned to my 10-yr-old. "Rose have you thought much about your wedding?"

Rose's eyes lit up."You mean the colors? I want red and gold, and I think I want horses involved some how, but I'm not sure where because of the temple."

Sarah added "I want green and silver!"

John smiled and turned back to Jed. "I rest my case."

The conversation was over... except for a high five and a little praise for John from yours truly!

Keeping stitches, taking blood, and grey hair...

Keeping Stitches:

So Hannah had her stitches removed today! (you would have known she got them if I had finished the post) True to her personality she screamed the entire time, until the doctor ran out the door leaving us sitting the chair. (that shut her up!) He came back almost as fast as he had left with a strip of scotch tape.

He rummaged through one of the cabinets and pulled out a popsicle stick (tongue depressor) then he taped the stitches to the popsicle stick!

He could not have received a warmer response if he had given her an actual popsicle! She has carried that thing around all day!!! I'll post pictures as soon as I can!



Taking Blood:

As most of you know Ammon has been having seizures. (yet another unfinished post) He is on medication so he needs some routine blood work done about every week now. Well, Gabie has been pretty sick as of late (didn't even try to post that one) At this point the swollen glands, fatigue and enlarged spleen are pointing to Mono. Soooo, he had to have some blood work done too.

When we got there Ammon decided he would go first "To show Gabie how to be brave!"

Now, when Ammon sees blood (especially his own) he doesn't do so well. He WILL NOT speak to the tech that draws it. He sits on my lap and communicates with me through his own version of sign language. He cries silently but does not move! This is all very heart breaking and dramatic. In fact this was the first time I haven't cried and it was solely for Gabriel's sake.

When Ammon was done it was Gabie's turn. He hopped up and cheerfully told the tech how brave he was! While he sat in my lap the was no cuddling or holding that needed to be done. He was ready to get down to business! He barely even flinched when the needle went in and as soon as he saw the tube filling he exclaimed, "Whoa Mommy, look at the cool blood!"

Grey Hair:

While sitting on the couch watching TV with Malachi, one of those commercials came on for those home hair dying kits. Malachi said, "Mom, you should go to Walmart and buy that!!"

To which, I replied, "Do you think Mommy would look pretty with red hair like that?"

His reply, "Um NO. But it might help you get rid of those grey hairs you have!"

How many Leschorn's does it take to tackle a warthog?

EIGHT!

Here are some promised pictures from our trip to the zoo! The WILD animals didn't turn out so good... so I hope you like the ones we took of our domestics!

I'm sorry I never called...

To the person that I never comforted. The one who was thought of so many times but never received that phone call.
When I found out what had happened to your sweet baby boy my heart ached to comfort you. Though I never buried a child, I felt that our situations were so very similar.
I'll admit that the reaction of our family made me a little angry. No one called me, no one came to visit, and certainly no one sent cards or letters. Yet, even my own mother flew out to comfort you when she had not come for me. Your loss brought back so much of my own. Perhaps I just wasn't strong enough to push away the bitterness.
But still you were grieving and I should have been there! I should have been your friend.
I know it's little comfort, but I think of you and your little baby often. If I talk about family I always remember him in my numbers. I cry when I read what you write about him and I like to picture him playing with my little David.
I am truly sorry for your loss.
Always,
Erica

David's Story

In a conversation I recently had with a cousin of mine I confessed that I hate to tell people that I have 8 children. Why? Eleven years ago I was 21 1/2 weeks pregnant with a little boy. A little boy that would never grow full term. He died in-utero some where around 17 weeks. The delivery, or lack there of is something that I think I will never quite be able to get over in this life time.

With in 2 months of being married at the age of 18 I found out I was pregnant. It was one of the happiest moments of my life. I remember my knees going weak and sitting on the bathroom floor as I saw that second line form on my pregnancy test. I cried and then laughed. Then I did both at the same time.

The weeks went by and my belly began to punch out a bit. Right at 16 weeks I felt the oddest feeling as I lay on my stomach. Some people refer to it as little bubbles or even butterflies. For my it didn't feel like that at all. First one quick poke and then four, tap-tap-tap-tap, right in a row. For several days I enjoyed my after noon activity of sucking on a jolly rancher and then laying on my belly about 15 minutes later. There it would be the sudden sugar rush never failed! Tap-tap-tap-tap...tap-tap...tap! It was like my little baby was spelling things out in Morse code. I loved it! Then half way through my 17th week, it stopped.

There were no taps or flutters. I called my doctor. The nurse assured me that every thing was fine. "It's common to feel the baby move for a while and then stop for a few days." she said. "You're still really early"

I tried to listen to her but my instinct told me that she was wrong. A few weeks later I was 21 weeks. I had an appointment with my doctor and went in as usual. It was the same slew of questions "Movement?" "Morning sickness?" "weight gain?" Every answer was a negative. At this point I had convinced myself that nothing was wrong. I was glad the morning sickness had stopped. I was sure that I would start feeling the baby again when I was further along and I was glad not to be gaining to much weight.

When the doctor tried to hear the heart beat and couldn't my heart stopped. Once again the dread from just a few weeks before slammed my body. My doctor, a 72 year old slime ball who I later found out was in the throws of 4 lawsuits with other patients, looked at me as though I were some pathetic puppy. He told me he was going to order an ultrasound... for the following week! He assured me once again that I had no reason to worry. He told me that sometimes babies "just move" and "hide" because they don't like the doplar.

I went home again. I was to naive to know that I could insist on more care... BETTER CARE!

then it happened. A sharp unyielding pain. One that to this day I cannot describe. In all of my subsequent labors and miscarriages, I have never again experienced this pain in my lower abdomen!

John rushed me to the hospital. A couple of things stand out in my mind about this first hospital visit: the ultrasound and the diagnosis.

I tried to watch the ultrasound, but the technician turned the screen almost immediately after he started the ultrasound. He called to an associate. There were lots of whispers and head shaking. No one looked at me. Then a doctor was called in. Then another. I heard bits and pieces... "not a 21 week fetus"... "no movement"... "atrophy"

The doctors left the room, as did the tech and his colleague. Another tech (this time a female) came in. She was very teary. She kept telling me she was sorry. She told me that my doctor would be in my room in a few minutes. I was numb. There were no tears. I hated every one at that very moment. The pathetic puppy feeling didn't bode well with me.

Enter slime ball doctor: He was up beat speaking quickly and expressed how silly it was that they had called him in from his office. "Well it looks like were looking at the DOP."

I gave him a confused look.

"DOP. Death of Pregnancy"

"What?" my emotions were still frozen I wasn't able to feel anything. There was no sorrow in my voice. This surprised me a little, honestly. Even more surprising was his response.

Smirking he turned to the nurse and said. "Did I mumble?"

The look of shock on her face registered in my memory.

Note to self: Be really ticked off at this guy later... survive now!

That was it. They could "clean me out" then or I could go home and "wait to miscarry." I'm not sure who really made the choice but I went home to wait. I was probably still holding on to hope that this was all just a really bad nightmare or a mistake.

It all unfolded for me that night. I was staring out the window of our tiny apartment. I had done that so many times before, while imagining my sweet baby playing on a blanket in the grass next to the small grove of trees. It seamed ironic to me at the time, the same weakness I had experienced when I found out I was expecting came flooding back when I realized it was over.

I laid on the floor crying while John stroked my back. The anger and hate I had felt earlier were gone. Now there was sorrow. Piercing and deep. No one can truly understand it unless they have lived it. The tunnel that you fall into, with with air that is thick and heavy, is a place that no one can climb in with you, let alone pull you out.

At some point that night I sat down in the shower. I watched the water fall on my slightly raised abdomen. Once again tears poured out. They didn't stop until at some point I fell asleep. I woke up because the water had gone cold. John had gone to bed. I look back now and wonder how he survived because the strength he drew was not from me.

The next day was business as usual. John went to work and I was going to take time off to regroup. I was cramping at this point but it wasn't severe. I drew a bath and relaxed a but. I felt odd not being at work because I truly felt okay at this point. When I was done I drained the tub but didn't get out. I think I had let my mind wander because I was pretty dry, and so was the tub for that matter, when I started to get up. But as I sat up I notice blood. It had started. I was miscarrying.

I will skip most of the graphic details. But I will say that there are certain pictures that are etched in your mind forever. Miscarrying a 17 week baby after it has been dead for three weeks is one of those pictures.

Not knowing what to do, I called a close friend who came to my apartment. I was still in the bath tub, frozen with fear and grief. She helped clean me up and put the tissue in a plastic grocery bag. Then she got me and her 2 month old baby down to her car and drove me to the hospital.

John met us there as soon as he could get home.

I labored for nine hours. I would wake accasionally and hold my friends tiny little baby. I would stare at him an cry, then fall back asleep. Finally Dr. Slimeball. Decided I needed a D&C.

It was over. That was it. My baby was gone. I was no longer pregnant. The following day I was released and John took me to his parents house. They were very kind but there was no cure for the pain I was in. A couple of sisters came and cleaned my house. What else can you do to help a woman who's just had a miscarriage? Life was still going on but my world had stopped. My mother called to tell me she was sorry, but that was the extent of family involvement. No one really helped me work through it...Except John and the Lord. There was no burial because there wasn't that much of a body left, and I was told it wasn't necessary. Which still makes me angry!

John and I named our little boy David Michel I'm sure he would have been beautiful.

All of my children know about him. We tell them they have a big brother waiting for them in heaven. I am so thankful for the gospel, the temple, and the opportunity to have our families live together in the next life... forever. I don't know why the Lord called me to that particular mission. Why does he allow any of us to live with our trials? Why are some things so difficult for some of us and hardly a bump in the road for others. I don't pretend to know any of these answers. I am sure it will all be worth it in the end. I can only hope that one day the Lord will great me on the other side and he will say "Well done my good and faithful servant!"

The Phoenix Zoo!

John surprised us all on Saturday with a trip to the zoo! We dropped of the house work and other things we had planned and left! It was perfect!!! You never know how much you need a day out until you get one! Honestly it was with out a doubt the best day we've had in a long time. It felt so good to forget about all of the recent health issues and house chaos and just spend the day enjoying each other!

Trying to catch up...

I cannot even tell you how many posts I've tried to write since my last, But I can never finish them. I have lots of reasons...non of them really matter. Here's the run down...
I got sick...
The girls started orchestra...
We bought a piano...
Ammon turned 8...
Ammon started boy scouts...
My Mom came to see Ammon get baptised...
The kids got sick...
Ammon didn't get baptised because we were all to sick...
Sarah was admitted to the hospital...
Sarah came home...
Took Abbie for U/S on her stomach (she's fine)...
Ammon's begun having seizures...
Jed moved in with us...
Hannah got stitches last night...

My PLAN is to take each subject and just blog about them one at a time in hopes of playing "catch up". But let's be realistic. I think it's best to just except it for what it is and move on!