A Good Friend

2-28-08
I know that there are few women in the world that can claim that they get along with their mother in laws...let alone like them!

Before I begin let me fill you in a little...For the past, oh, two weeks I've been having some problems with my ear. It's a reoccurring problem. I am actually deaf in my right ear due to damage from spinal meningitis when I was about 2 1/2. I have nerve damage that doesn't allow me to FEEL an ear infection. So I never know I have one until my ear drum bursts or I get dizzy... blah, blah, blah...

Getting back to my story... I've had a head ache for three days now that effect my vision. (very common with my ear problems) This morning I was so off kilter that I ended up throwing up twice. I felt LOUSY! You know, the kind of lousy where the kids are on their own for breakfast and you stumble out of bed just long enough to make lunch and tend to basic needs before you head BACK to bed?

This sob story has a point...There I am, lying in bed, wide awake, with my eyes closed and tears poring our of them. Feeling not only miserable because of my head, but like a worthless Mom because I cant get up and do school work with my babies. The phone rings. It's my darling Mother in Law! (Apparently her son had called and left a message on her cell phone that I was sick) Unfortunately she received the message AFTER her help with Mini Nana had left. I'd like to say that I played tough but alas, I did not. I spilled my WHINE! In fact I got off the phone feeling a little guilty for releasing my burden and giving it to her.

Well the day went on. I made dinner. Hubby came home. Kids ran around like maniacs! And so on!

I was supposed to go to enrichment (our womens night at church) tonight but I still didn't feel so great so I opted to stay home. Although it might have been more peaceful to go to church. So any way, there I am feeling lousy all over again when the phone rings.

2-29-08

I over hear John say "I don't know. I'll let you ask her." He hands me the phone and it's Mary. She wanted to know if I was up to going out for some coconut cream pie (both of our favorites). I told her thanks but my head was bad so I wanted to leave the kiddos to John and go to bed. she told me that she was coming by to drop something off, that she wouldn't stay long but, she knew I needed to get out... and a bunch of other nice things. By the time I got off the phone with her I was blubbering to John...something about how wonderful his mother was, how good she made me feel.

Well she showed up about 20 minutes later with an entire coconut cream pie...just for me! She also brought me two shirts that she had seen at Burlington and thought I would like! I must say I love them and they look really good on me!

John said to me after she left... "See! You guys could have been best friend 10 yrs ago!" The truth is that I don't think that is true. I was not mature enough to accept another persons faults and look past them and she had different goals than I did. But, with Nana living with her...I have more in common with her than I have with most women my age.

It's a shame that it has taken us this long for our lives to be running parallel. As John put it, I am dealing with one end of the life spectrum and Mary is dealing with another but our focus is the same...Taking care of our family, meeting their needs, and loving them.

I don't know how long we'll continue down the same path together. I hope it's for the rest of our lives. But either way I am just going to enjoy it while it lasts!

Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire!

Okay, I have a question for those of you who have raised or are raising "decent God Fearin' children"! What do you do with a LIAR? I have a child (We'll call them X) that seems to be lying more and more every day. Not just little fibs but bold-faced LIES! It is constant.
Some times it's just claiming that chores have been completed when they obviously haven't. Other times, it's absolutely made up stories that can not possibly be true. Ahhh! The Frustration. John and I know X is lying. X knows we know they're lying. But it STILL continues.
Let me explain my concern here. I am not as worried about the lying as I am about the soul. There is no remorse when this child is caught, only anger when they are punished. The problem is that this child is EXTREMELY good at it. So, John and I have been taking the "punish em' good when you catch em'!" approach.
Is this the way we're supposed to do it? How do we reach them deep inside? How do we touch the spirit and make them care? We're super good at coming up with AWESOME punishments (I'll explain in another post) But again, PUNISHMENT is not our concern...How do we stop the problem. We've explained, I've pleaded, We've talked We've yelled, spanked, grounded...How do we reach them?

Home schooling at it's best!

We belong to an LDS homeschool History group. January's theme was China...yes we're running

a little late on our project. Any way one of the Ladies had a great idea for doing Chinese Dragons as a project!

We used copies of a dragon face and glued them to brown paper bags. Then we made scales with construction paper on the sides. I let the older kids have a lot more room for creativity and they all did great jobs! The really cool thing about this project is that it directly co insides with an art project from our K12 program so we get credit for our time spent. Yeah!
This month is Africa. I'm not in charge of any of the projects but maybe I can get some good pics of our group and give you a better idea of what we do. The kiddies really love the things we do with this group!

Malachi was so excited when I handed him a screw driver so that he could "fix" a kitchen timer that had stopped working. Every thing is schooling for us. He didn't actually fix the timer but he was able to take it apart and look inside it. He also figured out why it had stopped working. Apparently a piece had broken inside the timer... Who knew? We were all actually impressed with how many springs, coils and other parts go into one tiny kitchen timer!

My very favorite thing about Homeschooling is that every one is included. Here is Abbie right in the middle of the scissors and glue and paper. Happily watching all of the chaos! Its what she lives with! This is not a bad thing! Any one who talks to my Hannah (2) is so impressed by the things she says and what she knows. I have never had a lesson on colors or shapes with her, yet she knows them. She still needs some work on her letters but that will come too. She was raised the exact same way that Abbie is growing up. In the middle of a learning environment. When Abbie is two she will most likely know all of the things that Hannah does now simply because she is in the middle of it every day!

Homeschooling s not about sitting a bunch of children down and forcing them to learn. It's about making life an educational experience. When we go to the zoo the kids take turns using the map and leading the group. When we're grocery shopping I show the children how to pick out meat and fresh produce. Then we compare prices. Rose and Sarah round to the nearest dollar and help keep track of how much is spent. All of this is learning.

Sure we do book work...lots of it. But the important thing to keep in mind is that as a parent you are "schooling" your children constantly. At the park, on a hike, at the store or even in the home... you just have to decided what lessons you want your children to learn! :)

A day in the life...

I home school. Not the traditional "no-books-make-up-your-own-curriculum". Can you imagine that with MY husband? No way. We do an Online Charter School. I jokingly say "All the work is done for us... except the teaching."

No primitive schooling for us... We have a school room that is equipped with three computers (networked of course) and entire wall of school supplies. Unless I am changing a diaper or trying to spend time with another child I am at this computer. Looking up assignments, marking attendance, giving a lesson, recording grades, etc... Sometimes, I even bring my lunch to my desk (a BIG rule breaker) just so I can glance over the next lesson I am supposed to give.

I don't know how or why I do it....Well I guess that's not true. I do it only with the Lord's help and guidance. I do it because I feel it's my calling. Don't get me wrong. I don't think that everyone can or should home school. I just know that I can and I should. You can give your children a good education and spiritual knowledge whether they are in public, private, parochial, or home school. It all depends on parental and teacher involvement.

So, I thought that some people might be wondering what a day looks like for us. (okay, I know because so many people have asked)

A general day goes something like this:
7:30- get up get showered and blah, blah, blah...
9:00- chores, Maggie goes down for morning nap, baby gets fed (at the computer) and I review the days assignments.
10 or 10:30- (if we're lucky) 4 oldest on math, Gabie on busy work or with Hannah(snacking if they want) Maggie get's up somewhere around here
11:30 or 12:00- (depending on how many questions I have answered for math...or if we get stuck on something) Sarah on Lang Arts with me, Rose on Lit, and the boys go play with the little ones, baby fed again
1:00- lunch
1:30 or 2:00- (most likely 2:30) Ammon on Reading lesson with me, Sarah on break with others, Rose on Lang skills, Maggie screaming her darling little head off in the new cage... I mean playpen!
3:00-Rose on Spelling (except on Fridays), Sarah reading/phonics with me, feed baby, Maggie down for afternoon nap, Hannah and Gabie quiet time. (hopefully)
4:00-Malachi Phonics with me, Rose on Test Readiness
5:00-Boys on Lang Arts with me, I remember that I haven't started dinner...John gets home. 6:00-Feed baby
6:30 or 7:00- Eat dinner (Most often made with Johns help!) give spelling test or lesson that was forgotten or replaced with something else such as story for Hannah, diaper time, washing/folding laundry, etc...etc...etc..., feed dog, let dog out
8:00- bed time (ha ha ha) but really, scripture/prayer, baths (only when absolutely necessary), pjs
9:00- lots of giggles and whispers, baby crying...needs fed! Journaling/blogging, check email, plan for next day, put phone on hook, Let dog in, turn off downstairs lights, lock up
9:30- silence...
Some where (normally Saturdays) I throw in History, Art, and Science. These are my kids’ favorite subjects though, so it's not so hard to squeeze in an entire unit in one day.

The reason I plan for so much time to sleep is because I don't get it... I have a newborn, or kids that puke, or one with nightmares...there’s always something :)

This is NOT set in stone! Many times this doesn't even begin to look like a day for us. There are many times when I just throw my plans right out the window and we go for a walk, to the park, or just play in our side yard. Lots of times I'll put a movie on in the middle of the day for no reason other than the fact that the kids want to watch one.

Every other Tuesday the girls have achievement and Many times Nana comes by to take a couple kidos off my hands, to help them with make-up or extra study time...I think she just likes the excuse to be around them...Thanks Nana! :)

See, here's the thing about home schooling...It teaches the kids to be flexible. No matter what "school" you choose, as long as you teach them the life skills that they need, you're children will be just fine. I love my children. I love to spend time with them. I love to watch them learn. It's amazing to see those gears going at lightning speed. To watch eyes light up the first time they sound out a word thrills me! It's hard to explain really.

Because I'm the Mom

This is MY LIFE...Just thought I share!

Music to my ears!

Did you know that it is physically imposible a boy to do ANY job...with out sound effects?

"Ammon, take this up to your room, qickly please."
"Okay, Shhhwishhh." He's flying

"Malachi, Put your name on your paper."
"Okay, ch, ch, ch" Some type of machine, I asume.

My personal favorite...
"Gabie pick your toys up off the floor."
"Okay Mommy. Ahhh! Hes gonna get me! I got you. Now you'll never get away! Ha Ha Ha! Ahhhh!" For those of you who aren't well versed in boy, I belive that was a villian attacking some one.

As I was going from room to room today listening to all of the boys do their chores I started to get annoyed. I already had a head ache...who needed more noise...not me! But when I was headed up to my room I noticed my Ammon sulking on his brother's bed. I took one look at those big, brown, puppy dog eyes and realized that I had some how hurt his feelings... You can just tell.

I had no clue what I had done to earn his pittiful pout, so I sat down and asked him what was wrong.

"You won't let me clean."

"What?"

"You won't let me clean!"

"Honey, I don't care if you clean. What do you want to clean?"

"You won't let me..."(sob, shudder) "I was cleaning and you told me to be quiet!" (sob, sob)

"Ohhh." (light bulb flips on)

My son knew that he could not clean with out making noise. I had asked him to quiet down. He put those two facts in his brain and stirred them around. The conclusion he had come to was...Mom won't let me clean! I had single handedly taken away his favorite pass time!

Well, right then and there, I decided that if I had to put up with a chorus of sound effects to have a tidy living room and a couple of beds made... That was a price I was willing to pay!

So, if you ever call my house and it sounds like super heros have taken over a few bulldozers, or bombs are exploding and women and children are screaming, dont worry. My boys are just hard at work!

(sigh...)

Singing Baby

I didn't catch this until I was watching it later! But my baby is amazing. She can lip sync at 14 months old!

Who would have guessed?

This is a few months old (Pre Abbie) but I was just going through some pictures and, as I did, I started thinking how incredible it is that this tiny family has grown so much! Who would have thought (thirty years ago) when Bill and Mary adopted two 4 month old little boys and brought them home, that they would one day have so many grand children!?! It all started about 93 years ago when John's Nana (the sweet lady in purple) was adopted too. The Lord really works to put the people that he wants together in the right places at the right times! Who would have guessed that a couple almost 100 years ago making the choice to take in one child would have such an effect on so many lives?

Do as I say...Not as I do!

We went hiking as a family on Saturday in the San Tan Mountains and John learned a very valuable lesson... Don't touch the cacti that you are always telling the children to stay away from!
While we were walking John saw a cactus that had started to drop some pods. He bent down and just tried to move one a little with the side of his finger. He was trying to see if it had taken root. We don't know what they're called but these particular Cacti have little prickles that curl when they are touched!
The really wild thing was that it didn't hurt...Until he started to try to get it off! The little prickles were like hairs and stayed in for quite a while! I guess it's just one of those small reminders that we parents should always lead by example!

By the way...This is where we live! :)

A Leschorn Top 10!

Top 10 reasons I'm buying a cage (playpen) for Maggie

#10 My Aunt Bonnie's dinner plate (precious and priceless to me) that was too close to the edge of the table... and the second one!

#9 She likes the Dog's so much...Why not get her one of her own?

#8 Her desire to show her effection for her baby sister by climbing on top of her...and bouncing!

#7 My in-ability to hear her cry when she locks her self in the laundry room.

#6 The dents in the CD player cause by Stretch Arm Stong (Maggie) pulling it off the counter...TWICE!

#5 That "I'm excited" growl I hear when she knows she's getting into something she's not supposed to!

#4 Her ability to climb completely into the dishwasher unoticed.

#3 The fact that she can (and will) climb out of her BUCKLED high chair onto the counter.

#2 Her desire to stick every thing in her mouth...AFTER dipping it in the toilet first!

#1 The bloody nose that I still haven't figured out the cause of!

Sticks and Marbles!

There's this game that my kids have. It's called Kerplunk. The basic idea is that there are all these sticks holding a bunch of marbles up in a tube. Each child is supposed to pull out a stick and try not to make the marbles fall. The thing is, my kids actually like to make the marbles fall. They all screem and laugh when it happens and find themselves trying to see how quickly they can make them fall.
Of course, the proces of setting the game up is a bit complicated for little ones, so guess who gets to put it back to gether? It's not that big a deal. I don't really mind doing it a couple of times. It's when I have to do it over and over again that I begin to get frustrated. What really upsets me is when they start pulling sticks out before I'm done putting them in.
There is a purpose to this story...

Why is it that just when you think you've got every thing starting to come together you loose controll of every thing all at once? It kinda feels like that game my kids have. One or two sticks really aren't normally a problem. As long as they're aren't important, you can actually have several taken away with out to much trouble. It's when just the right one is pulled that the whole pile of marbles come crashing down.

I reset my marbles on a regular basis... and I feel like the kids are just racing around after me pulling out sticks. I know the game will end soon with that oh-so-familar crash. So why is it that, just like in that game, I find myself replacing sticks faster and faster? Then I start trying to put two or three sticks in at once. This never works, just so you know. You end up not getting them in all the way and some even fall out on their own. Finally, I throw my hands up in the air and give up! Some giggles and pulls that last stick out and there they go!

Okay have you ever had one of those days where every thing just seems to go wrong?

Today I just can't seem to get it todether, so what do I do? Well I have banned the older kids from the inside of the house, put the three younger ones down for a nap, and sat down for a good cry.
I cry about every thing and nothing! I can't get the_________ (choose any following item) house clean, meals made, school taught, baby fed, laundry done, errands run or, kids bathed and dressed. It's just so frustrating! On days like this yelling, screaming, spanking, time outs ...none of them will work. I have found that the best thing to do on a day like to day is to quit. Not for good, just long enough to eat a pice of cake (I highly recomend strawberry with chocolate frosting)... and reset your marbles!
If you send the kids away from the table while you put the sticks in they can't pull them out before your ready. NOTE: THEY WILL PULL THEM OUT AGAIN! Once again you'll hear the warning from one or two that start to fall. Then the crash will follow. But at least you'll be prepared, and it will have taken them longer this time. When your prepared for your mables to come crashing down, you'll be a lot less likely to loose them! :)

Mini-Nana

There are few women in the world that are loved as much as this precious lady! This is John's Nana... Effectionately known as Mini-Nana to her 60+ great grand children. Mini Nana is 98 years old and currently living with her daughter (my MIL)in Mesa. She moved there from NY when she was 96! This woman is amazing.

She is always so happy to see our children! Which just makes me love her even more. She delights in watching them run around. and always wants to hold the baby. Her short term memory is going a bit, so she is constantly asking the names of each of the children and how the baby is doing. But her heart is the same and that won't ever change.

I know I said this woman was amazing, but let me tell you a little bit to help you understand what I mean. Nanna is my mentor. If I had known her while I was growing up I am sure that I would have thought I wanted to be just like her when I grew up. In some ways I think I am, but I pale in comparison in so many others.

Nana was adopted by her parents when she was a little girl (around 4 or 5 yrs old). The thing is, that back then they didn't talk about those things so she never found out until she was quite a bit older. Some rotten uncle told her just to be mean!

Nana didn't want to get married but she had promised her mother before she died that she would...so she did. Then she had 6 children with her husband, Jack! Go Nana! To top that off, she took in foster children. I asked her once how many children she thought she had taken in and she tried to count but couldn't. Nana adopted one of her foster boys.

One time I made the mistake of refering to him as the "adopted son" in a casual conversation and boy did she set me strait. She told me in her oh-so-sweet-Nana way that she didn't like for him to be refered to as the "adopted child" because too many people take that as a negative thing (again Nana does come from a completly different era). She told me that when you adopt a child it's like having a baby only with more paper work. That child is yours. She said she couldn't explain it really, and I believed her.

I don't really know to much about her child rearing days. I know that they didn't have too much money (no one with 6 kids ever does). She told me that she used to sew and type at night to bring in extra $$$ to make ends meet. One of Mary's (my MIL) favorite Christmas memories was of waking up to a beautiful christmas tree...Many years later it was discovered that that beautiful chrismas tree was actually a bush from the alley that Jack had cut down and decorated in hopes of giving the children a nice christmas because there was no money for presents.

Nana was a very attentive grandmother while John was growing up. He has told many stories of being drilled on multiplication facts after school while they waited for his Mom to get off work.
When John and I were dating, I ended up staying with her for a few weeks while I figured some things out. She never asked for any thing and refused to accept a dime for rent. She let me play on her piano. I must have just about driven her nuts with the same tune over and over again. Every morning we'd watch The Price is Right together.

Later, after John and I were married Nana moved to KY a few minutes from where John and I were living. Being young and pregnant and not working we spen quite a bit of time in that house on the Lake. We sat and had tea and cookies together while talking about any thing we felt like talking about. I don't even remember if she had a TV at that point I'm sure she did...and I'm sure there was lots more Price is Right and wheel of Fotune. She had a little dog named Amanda and I loved her too. She was just as sweet as Nana.

Well, John's parents moved to Hawaii and Nana moved to NY. John and I ended up moving back to Indiana and we lost contact for several years. Now it seems we've come full circle and we're back where we're supposed to be. Living 10 minutes from Nana all over again and the best part is that she is a part of our kids lives.

The thing about Nana is that she is human. Human bodies give out when they want to and you never know when that's gonna happen. She is 98 now and I am not sure how much time she has with us on this earth. What matters to me is that my children know who this Lady is now. She is ther smiling happy Mini-Nana. Giver of hugs and patter of cheeks. It's hard to believe that I could love this woman any more than I already do, but seeing the joy she finds in my children with each visit only indears her more to me.

Here I go again...

Over the past 24 hours I've been contemplating how different my children are from one another. One would think after a certain number you'd pretty much start making duplicates. But honestly they amaze me every day.

Rose: Rose is our oldest (twin A) She is so beautiful. Her dark hair is just past her shoulders and all her her features are soo very feminine! Luckily with that beauty comes a very sensible mind. I find myself being very careful around her because if I make a mistake she is sure to point it out. Out of curiosity not disrespect. She tries so hard to be the big girl and "sucks it up" if she wants to cry but isn't comfortable around the person/people she's with. She is an awesome artist when sketching and has recently taken it upon herself to provide her younger brothers and sisters with a bed time story each night.

Sarah: Oh my darling Sarah. She is giggles and butterflies. (twin B) So different than Rose! What she lacks in maturity she more than makes up in love and compassion. You will never see a child want to please adults more than her. 50 failures will not detour her as long as she will eventually gain the praise for solving that math problem. Beauty, for some reason seems to be something all of my girls are blessed with. With so many curly locks she often reminds me of the poem about the little girl with the curl "right in the middle of her forehead". Her eyes are the type that reveal her spirit and they can dance when she smiles.

Ammon: When I think of Ammon...I always picture his big smile. This little boy is ALWAYS happy. I love his laugh! He has the biggest brown eyes and he can truly light up my day when I need it. He has a slight speech challenge which only adds to his sweetness. (Though he pronounces his word perfectly when he's reading) On the rare occasions that he does get in trouble his cry can be enough to break your heart! He is always willing to lend a hand and never does anything half way! Man can he clean!!!! He loves to get excited! He loves to laugh! He loves life!

Malachi: Tough guy...sorta! My Chi wants to be a "scientist" when he grows up. He's learning to read so that he can get a poster that Daddy bought for him that's full of super heros. (which he also whats to be) He has a darling Chubby little face that I love to look at! He has an amazing imagination! He is constantly creating new things out of toys or "things" around the house. Costumes are WITH OUT A DOUBT his favorite thing to play with. He can literally make a costume out of a pair of boxers, a church vest, a shoe lace and a sword. I know. I've seen him do it!

Gabriel: Watch out for this one...as soon as he figure out what girls are...or they discover him...oh my. Gabie's eyes are amazing. They are clear grey (if that makes any sense) He is always so very helpful. I kind of picture his as the neighbor boy that mows the old ladies lawn. I can give him any task and I know it will get accomplished. (today it was the living room) He, like most of his brothers and sisters loves to draw and he is dying to do school work like the big kids. You never know what he's going to say... Today while I was on the phone with the IRS he came in the school room and announced that his under-ware smelled funny! I thought the IRS Lady was gonna choke!

Hannah: Oh my. What can I say... She's so Funny! She's so smart! She's so pretty! If you have never had a conversation with Hannah you are missing out! She is so propper in her diction and very to-the-point. She doesn't bend facts and is very willing to state that she doesn't know something. While some 2-yr-olds might make up an answer to a question Hannah will not. She thinks she's as old as all of the others and I doubt there will be many missed opportunities in her life. She just won't let them go by.

Maggie: She is my growly, smiley little girl. Every time I look at that face. I just want to hug her! Right now she only has her two bottom teeth and about 1/4 of a third on top off to the side. I think she will look like a vampire before long. (But at least she's a cute one!) Which is kind of fitting because the only sound she make right now is a low growl. It always sounds angry but she smiles very sweetly while she does it! She has recently discovered the out doors and gets so excited when we open the front door. I have to make sure that her outing are on foot though, unless I want a fight on my hands. She hates her car seat and stroller. She can throw a fit with the best of them but when she is tired she wants nothing more than a bottle, a blankie, a snuggle and her bed. No complaining or fight then.

Abbie: So Snugly! (is that a word?) I just want to sqiush her or eat her up ...or something. I just love my darling baby. Her eyes have started turning blue (or something like that) and her hair is all still there. Today she looked right at my face and my heart melted! Of course I could live with out the up all night-sleep all day thing. But Ill take all the snuggles I can from her right now. Since she is my last, I plan to nurse her until shes 10! (smile). The older kids, especially the boys, can't keep their hands off her. I love how much they love her!

What's it like having 8 kids?

Many people have asked me..."Whats it like having eight kids?" My answer always depends on my mood. Some times I reply with "I love it!" others it's "Busy!" Often I reply with "Exausting!" But that's just how being a mother is, isn't it? It's wonderful, amazing, busy, exausting, and fufilling. It's being lonely and, at the same time, desperate for your own space. It's wanting silence and then crying all day when the kids are away. I'ts never ever getting to go to the restroom alone and a life full of dishes and laundry.

But it's something much more. It's a million kisses and hugs. It's giggles and toothless grins. It's the pride you feel when you watch your child accomplish something that you've taught them. It's the joy in knowing that long after you are gone there will be someone (a part of you) living on.
You see, What I've learned most about having a lage family is that for double the work load of the "average" sized family we quadruple the joy.

Sure, there are times when I day dream about sending all of the older kids to school and the little ones off to preschool. But what would I actually gain? I might gain peace of mind temporarily but I would loose a million opportunities to show my children how much I love them. I would loose precious opportunities to teach them the values and morals that I want them to have in their adult lives. I would also loose those memories. I hardly think the memory of a perfectly clean bathroom is one that I would treasure over that of my 9-yr-old finally getting a math concept we'd been working on for 2 weeks. I know that I don't always do it right. But even if I fail 50 times out of 100 that's still 50 times that Ive suceeded in teaching them what they are supposed to know.

So here I sit at 9:30 at night with all of my children in bed. Rambling about my feelings about being a mother. Why? To be honest, I'm not even sure if any one will even read this...I don't do much reading of other people's bloggs. I'm just doing this as kind of an "addition" to my journaling. I want to leave behind the knowledge that I gain through out my life. Almost in hopes of helping another young mother, perhaps one day my own daughter.