- I am a 29-ish yr old married mother of 8. My family is my life and I wouldn't have it any other way. My darling husband is my very best friend and together we are raising 8 of the best kids in the world! They are Rose(12) Sarah(12) Ammon(10) Malachi(8) Gabriel(7) Hannah(5) Maggie(4) and Abbie(3) We currently own 2 dogs, 1 bird, 5 chinchillas, 1,000,000 rabbits, 1 cat, 4.5 horses, and one ferret. We just purchased a home that is definately a "fixer-upper", with land and room for the kids to roam. Our goal is to run a mostly self sustaining farm and live in peace as we grow as a strong family unit. We have seen our fair share of hardships, but we are thankful for the many blessings the Lord gives us on a regular basis!
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Like today: My sister and her family (including her husband) are visiting and will be here for 12 days. In preparation for their coming we moved all of the furniture out of the little girls' room and blew up one of those queen sized air mattresses. I hardly did any of the pumping...I have 6 capable kids after all!
Any way, Gabie and Hannah "helped" me to make the bed. The entire time we were spreading sheets Gabbie was saying "Shanni and Brian are gonna have so much fun on this bed! Yer sir! They are just gonna have SO MUCH FUN! I can't believe how much fun they're gonna have on this bed..." He just kept going on and on!
He kills me! He had no idea what he was saying but I found it very hard to keep from laughing out loud! I quickly called my sister to tell her how much fun she should expect to have on her bed.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Monday, March 24, 2008
I am amazed every day at how close these two girls are. Yes, they are twins but I think it's so much more than that! I LOVE that they are such good FRIENDS!
I am amazed every day to see Rose be such a support to Sarah in dealing with her challenges. She is always there for her and willing to "teach" her the things a "little sister" should know. She loves to do Sarah's hair, when she allows her to. Rose is so talented in so many aspects of her life. She is so awesome with her drawing and is learning to cross stitch...which is going a little slow because of my time...or lack there of. Sarah is always so bubbly and giggly she is extremely giving and always looking for new friends. She is always thinking of some new pretending game and has a wild imagination!
A friend of mine had a baby a few years ago with this exact defect it is three of the 18th chromosome instead of the normal two.
I watched this video with 2 of my boy next to me and they were both crying with me when it ended.
Gabie told me that he was happy that the baby got to go be with Jesus. He said "...that way he won't have to have food through a tube...and maybe...he could taste ice cream sandwiches!"
It amazes me that at the age of 4 he has such a sweet understanding what heaven really is!
This morning he had Hannah's beloved Cinderella wand. I'm not quite sure what he was doing with it but it was obviously some boy-type game...those are the only kind he plays. He broke the wand. He snapped the decorative end off.
He came to me holding it behind his back, and with puddles in his eyes, showed it to me and then confessed. Then he began to tell that this was "Really, really bad!" and "It's just that... I'm sorry for what I did and I need Hannah to forgive me...but she's not going to because... because this is her favorite fing... and I broke her favorite fing!"
I paused, thinking for a moment. (I love it when I remember to think before reacting!) I called Hannah downstairs and Malachi showed her what he had done and gave the most sincere apology that I think I have ever heard from one of my children.
I saw the emotions go through Hannah's face as though she had written words on her face. First there was pain...this was after all her most valued possession, then anger, and finally compassion. All of this with no words said. Finally she hung her head and took a deep breath, and lifted it again.
Smiling she said "It's Okay, My-chi, you didn't mean too. You my brudder. I yuv you."
They hugged...I cried.
As I was writing all of this I was thinking to my self. There is more to this story. Everyday as a Mom I screw up in some kind of way. I yell to loud or spank to quickly. There is always some one I've wronged. I can't count the nights that I have sat awake rehashing the day and wishing I had done something differently. But, I have found that as long as I am continuously showing them the love and attention that a child needs. When I go to them with a sincere apology they are always willing to accept it and forgive me.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
My children are very important to me. I want them to know that. Years from now I want them to be able to look through this blog and laugh... or shrink from embarrassment. :)
So I've decided to use my blog space as I had planned. From now on you will be hearing things that I have heard through out the day, stories about our family outings & activities, or just my experiences as a mother.
My goal, besides keeping a record for my children, is to let other mothers know that you can not only survive, but thrive as well. Living life as the "*...stupid hamster that wasted all of it's energy running in it's wheel over and over and over, without getting anywhere..." can get a little old but in the end you can have happy well adjusted children, and hopefully, a nice looking tush too. :)
*quoted from Stephanie Johnson's blog
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Now as for the answer...
Cali was right! I was never in a well for nine hours!
As for the baby chick... I really did kill a baby chick on purpose by snapping it's neck with my bare hands. This SHOCKED my husband! I had hatched 17 out of 24 eggs (an awesome turn out) in an incubator for a science project. I LOVED my chickens and wanted to keep them all. I named them and fed them. They would even follow me around our yard.
The sad thing was that one day I left the chicks out side for just a few minutes in a make shift cage. My dog Boots knocked over the cage and crushed a couple. There was on named Goliath (as in David and Goliath) that didn't die right away. I sat holding this dying chick for over an hour. I called my Mom at work and begged her to come home and "take care of it". She obviously couldn't leave for a chicken. I cried and cried.
Finally I couldn't take it's pathetic little peeps any more. So I, well you know...TALK ABOUT TRAUMATIZING!
YES, I did hitch hike across Illinois. I was stupid. I was wrong. AND if any of you EVER tell any of my children I will shoot you and bury your bodies where they will never be found! Remember, I live in the desert!
She explained it like this..
- There are some people who have immaculately clean microwaves. These are the kind of people that wipe up every spill or overflowed mess as soon as it happens. These people keep the window streak free and the turn style spotless.
- There are the people that may have a spill or two on the inside but keep the outside reasonably respectable. They may let it get a little trashed every now and then but they will get to it when they can.
- Then there are those that allow their microwaves to become so repulsive that you don't want to use it! They are the ones that have instant oatmeal spilled several times over, the red or brown splatters that you can't quite decipher, and the black cracks and crevices.
Here's the thing... I was cleaning my microwave this morning (This time with a tooth pick because I just couldn't quite get the corner the way I wanted it.) and I just started laughing at my self. Because when I turned around and looked at the rest of my kitchen I found it quite ridiculous that I would be wasting my time on this chore when there were so many other obvious flaws with my house keeping!
The stack of pans that I haven't gotten to, the various items on the island that have yet to find a proper place, the sticky spots on the floor from the various spills by "Not-me" (a subject for an entirely different post), these are all reminders of my inadequacies. And here I am cleaning my microwave! As if by some miracle, a stranger would walk into my house and be so blinded by the cleanliness of my microwave that they would be unable to see the rest of the mess!
Make no mistake. I have No plans to stop cleaning my microwave. I figure having one perfectly clean area in my house is better than none. Although I'm sure my husband would prefer it to be our bedroom or a bathroom! Still it is a little silly.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
I'm sure it wont be as educational as the whole 100 list thing but it might pull out some interesting facts and funny stories.
-When I was twelve I killed a baby chicken with my bare hands by snapping it's neck on purpose!
-At the age of thirteen I hitch hiked from Indiana Across Illinois all the way to St Luis MO at night in the middle of winter!
Okay, So Now I'd like to hear your guesses... which on is false? It's kind of fun to do this so try it yourselves!
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
I was just thinking to my self...I'm not sure if you any one knows this but I have suffered from chronic Postpartum Depression for the past 10 years. (smile) The truth is I've never really had PPD to horribly before. But this time around I'm not a happy camper! My Romeo has been in the dog house a LOT lately...through no fault of his own!
So today...He gets calls at work when I'm frustrated. He gets IMs when I can't stop crying. He gets to stop at Sam's because I forgot to put some important items on the list for the last trip. He gets to pick up pizza because my mind is so frazzled that I forget to plan for dinner. He gets to come home to a messy house. He gets to hear all about my horrid day. He gets to learn that I've gone over my budget. He gets to hold the baby while I eat dinner. He gets to hug me and reassure me of what a "great mom and wife" I am.
What do I get?...
Two dozen long stem red Roses!
A couple of weeks ago I heard the sweetest giggle coming out of my Maggie... Knowing that her giggle normally mean she's up to no good I went looking for her. I quickly found her under our school table using Lady as a pillow. Lady being the affectionate "child" that she is was thumping her tail and happily licking Maggie's neck! Hence the giggles. Maggie ended up falling asleep on Lady and Lady did not move until the nap was over. Even when it was obvious that she wanted to. (Sorry, my camera was out of batteries!)
This Dog never barks...unless it's necessary! Last week she became extremely distressed. She began walking around the house growling (she had NEVER done that before) and Barking. I couldn't get her to calm down. Then the door bell rang and SHE WENT NUTS! Needless to say I didn't open the door. But I had to laugh when a Jehovah's Witness Leaflet was slipped under the door! We've had LOTS of visitors since then and she hasn't done it once! GOOD DOG!
It's so amazing that people will spend thousands of dollars on a dog (did you know you can finance them?) and we have our perfect family pet that we bought off the side of the road for $50.00. That was by far the best purchase I've ever made!
Monday, March 17, 2008
Any way, while I'm laying there in the dark I start to think about...things. Nothing and everything and questions and answers. Last night I was stuck on questions. This is a sample of how it goes...
- Why do I have to tell my almost 8-yr old he can't use a sippy cup?
- Why do I have to tell my nine yr olds not to pick their noses?
- Why do I keep giving my 1 yr old turkey rice dinner baby food when I know it gives her diarrhea?
- Why does my son have to keep his shoes in a row (according to size and/or color) under his bed instead of keeping them in the "shoe basket"?
- Why is screaming and throwing your self down on the floor the preferred method for getting attention?
- Why cant they choose to smile and say "I love you" instead?
- When a child gets in trouble for screaming...Why do they scream louder?
- Why is the trash can the most intriguing thing in the entire house to a 1 yr old?
- Why is the toilet the second most intriguing thing in the entire house to a 1 yr old?
- What do you do with a one yr old that can get out of their crib, tip over their cage (or move it around as she pleases) and climb any where?
- How do you keep clothes on a two year old? (I've been asking that one for about 7 years now!)
- Is there a meal that exists that is healthy and all of my children will eat?
- If a child makes them self puke in protest to the food you make, should you make them clean it up by them selves?
- Is it right to reward a bite of green beans with an entire scoop of ice cream?
- Is the phrase "I'll spank 'em later" the epitome of laziness?
- Can you hire a professional disciplinarian to do all the punishing for you?
- Is there really a "super nanny"?
- How much dose she charge?
- Why did I pick up that ______ off the floor, when I asked ______ to do it before they went to bed?
- Does John have clean socks for work tomorrow?
This continues for up to four hours every night! AHHHHHH! I could keep going TRUST ME! I just wanted to give you a window to my brain. Have you ever been so tired that you feel that the world is kind of happening around you?
Oh well, I guess I'll sleep again in about 20 yrs! ;)
Sunday, March 16, 2008
My Rosie is my oldest child. I know that we are hard on her (we are hard on all of our children)and sometimes I feel horribly guilty. I find myself busy all the time and lets be honest, sometimes I just need an extra pair of hands. At what point do you cross the line between teaching responsibility and taking advantage.
It seems like such a simple thing to say "Rosie run upstairs and get Maggie out of her crib" or "Rosie could you feed Maggie while I make lunch?" But what am I telling her when I ask those things? What goes through her mind? I wish I knew. Sometimes I wonder if I'm saying "Rosie I feel like being lazy and shirking my responsibility...you take over for a while."
She smiles and does it. But sometimes I notice she's not to happy about it. That's when I 'm really torn. What do I do then? Do I tell her that she only has to help when she feels like it? I don't exactly feel like that's sending the right message. Your not supposed to help out just when you feel like it. In fact one of our favorite family sayings is "Helping is about doing what other people need you to do not what you WANT to do"
On the other hand, if I make her do it anyway, am I causing animosity between her and her siblings? Am I causing Rosie to loath the responsibility of motherhood. Will she grow up and not want a family at all because of how much work it is?Don't get me wrong Rose is not the only one of my children that is expected to help me. Even Hannah has been asked to grab the phone when my hands are otherwise in use. But the natural tendency is to ask "the oldest child" first.
These are just some thoughts going through my brain so that I can sort them out. I don't have the "all knowing answer" I don't have any funny puns or jokes to add so that the whole thing comes together. I am waiting for my "Ah-ha" moment! (Sigh...)
Friday, March 14, 2008
1. What's his name? John (His Mom still calls him Johnny)
2. How long have you been married? 11years
3. How long did you date? hmm... Before we knew we were getting married? We hadn't had a date yet... Before we were officially engaged 3mos... Before we were married? 5 mos
4. Who eats more sweets? ME by far...he's always on me about that!
5. Who said I love you first? Me...I had NEVER said that to ANYONE before! (okay, I mean a boy friend)
6. Who is taller? John
7. Who can sing better? HIM! I love his voice!
8. Who is smarter? He's smart enough to say that I am...so what do you think?
9. Who does the laundry? uhhhh...Rose and Sarah separate...Rose switches it 3 times a day (if I remind her) and I just do a load when ever I can.
10. Who pays the bills? John But I happily do all the other spending!
11. Who sleeps on the right side of bed? I'm on the right (Its closest to the bath room, the bassinet, and my mini fridge!)
12. Who cooks dinner? Mostly me but John can hold his own!
13. Who drives? Okay... I have panic attacks when I drive on the highway (and sometimes just on any road) but I like to be in control of the vehicle I'm in sooo..In town, me & On the highway, John
14. Who is more stubborn? I'd have to flip a coin.
15. Who kissed who first? Definitely him kissing me! He tried twice before I let him!
16. Who asked who out first? I asked him to a picnic at Turkey Run... I didn't know the history there.
17. Who proposed? He did...On one knee in the middle of Honey Creek Mall... Some lady walking by said "You have to say yes, he did it right!"
18. Who wears the pants? I defer to him in ALL things!...As long as he's right. ;)
I think every one I know has already done one except... Shilo, Liesha, Missy and Brad (BJ)
Thursday, March 13, 2008
1. I have been married for 11 years
2. I have 8 children
3. I live in Gilbert AZ
4. I love my husbands dimple!
5. I am deaf in one ear.
6. I home school my children
7. I can't spell worth crap
8. I hate English
9. I love Math and Science
10. I took calculus in high school
11. I had to use spell check to make sure I spelled calculus correctly
12. I know quite a bit about animals
13. My children know more about animals than I do
14. I've been pregnant 19 times
15. I've had 3 c-sections
16. Each of my children have a middle name after some one special.
17. My youngest daughter's middle name is after my cabbage patch doll!
18. We let our 9-yr-old's pick out our youngest daughters name
19. I have a set of twin girls
20. After 8 children I can still do the splits
21. I took 4 years of American sign language
22. I'm teaching myself how to cook
23. I refuse to buy a vehicle unless I know that I can change the plugs and wires myself!
24. I have trouble saying my "R"s and "oy"s
25. My Fathers name is Roy!
26. I LOVE my step mom!
27. I have 3 sisters and 2 brothers
28. I have 5 nephews and 3 nieces
29. I wish I had someone to teach me what to wear!
30. I love to sit in the bath tub and read!
31. I can vacuum while breastfeeding!
32. I want to learn how to change the oil in a car
33. I HATE driving!
34. I was in a 4 accidents in one year!
35. I have not been in an accident for five years!
36. I love Dove chocolate!
36. I don't like asparagus
37. I had to use spell check for asparagus
38. I can type 25 WPM... If I try REALLY REALLY hard.
39. I have a chocolate lab!
40. I live with 1 husband, 8 kids, 1 dog, 1 bird, and a bunch of fish
41. I don't like fish!
42. I'm waiting for all of the fish in our tank to die so that I can buy our son a Lizard and put it in the tank!
43. There was once a rumor spread around our ward that I don't like children
44. I don't like disobedient children
45. I think spanking is Great!
46. I think liberals Suck!
47. I want a bumper sticker that says "Liberals suck!"
48. I don't own a rolling pin
49. I need a rolling pin!
50. I ENJOY my children!
51. I absolutely LOVE frogs!
52. I want a pet frog
53. I would love a pet cockatoo
54. I am AFRAID of CRICKETS
55. Crickets scare me more than roaches
56. I once had a twenty minute panic attack because a cricket jumped on me.
57. My children are experts at getting cricket out of the house!
58. I am not afraid of ANY OTHER BUG
58. I think my children are the smartest children in the world
60. I have the greatest husband!
61. My husband is my best friend
62. My husband thinks it's silly that I am so afraid of crickets!
63. I have bottle fed lots of kittens!
64. I use to work at a veterinary office
65. I had a one eyed cat named Odor
66. We had foster children before we had our own.
67. I was once punched in the face by a child at a day care I taught at!
68. I used to believe spanking was wrong.
69. I support the war in Iraq
70. I support the war in Afghanistan!
71. If Hilary Clinton is elected president I'm moving out of the country
72. I believe abortion is wrong in any case
73. I want to campaign for Mitt Romney in 2012!
74. I plan to adopt two children when our youngest girl is 5
75. I love to sew.
76. I don't KNOW HOW to sew!
77. I am allergic to bees
78. I've been stung by a scorpion!
79. I love to hike with my family.
80. I can't stand husband bashing!
81. I believe in Christ.
82. I am a member of the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.
83. I have to look at the key board to type!
84. I have a nephew in the Marines!
85. I used to want to be a marine!
86. I was a high school drop out!
87. I went back to high school after I got married and was pregnant with my third child!
88. I graduated High school when I was 21!
89. I plan to finish college when my children are grown!
90. I would like to become a mid wife
91. I want to go on a mission with my husband
92. I am often so busy I forget to eat!
93. I like self help books
94. I am tired
95. I only clean pots and pans... I make my children do the other dishes
96. I think that a child that is not given chores is being abused!
97. I am VERY opinionated!
98. Most of my opinions are on political issues
99. The rest of my opinions are on parenting!
100. I'm going to bed now!
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
This is my Malachi! Those of you who know him, know that he is quite a character! For those of you who don't... you're missing out! This picture was actually taken about a year ago...but it's one of my favorites! He used two pencils, a broken car, a rubber band, a Batman cape, and a pair of boxers to come up with this costume!
Monday, March 10, 2008
I have twin girls that are almost ten now and things with them as toddlers were always pretty busy. But, there is one day that will ALWAYS stand out in my mind as my worst day. These girls never did any thing on their own. When they were tiny babies I remember driving in our car feeling the need to nurse them and realizing that they were about to wake up. Then, like clock work, both of them started SCREAMING their sweet little heads off.
On this particular day, every thing started out normal. They got up, ate breakfast, played, had lunch, and then went down for their normal nap time. They usually slept from 1 to 3 pm so I did what ever it was I was doing until 3 rolled around. When I opened the door to their room I could smell it! POOP! Both of my darling 18 month olds had decided it would be a great idea to finger paint with POOP! It was on them, my wall, the cribs...EVERY WHERE! Well, instead of getting angry (I didn't spank back then!) I stripped both girls right there and put them in the tub.
When they were clean, dry, and dressed I put them in front of a movie (I LOVED the magic babysitter box back then too!) and set to cleaning the mess.
As I was finishing up a different smell caught my attention. "What could it be?" I wondered, and then, I walked into the living room!!! My amazing husband had left not only a permanent marker out but the super glue as well! Ahhhhh! After a rush of panic and the discovery that neither of them had eaten any of the glue, I shewed them away. Well I got out my Shout Gel (the ONLY thing that I have found that can remove permanent marker out of a couch) and began scrubbing away at the black scribbles all over my living room. (the carpet, walls, couch, entertainment center, TV, and so on...) I was also picking the super glue off the wall, as well.
Then I heard a noise. Now most of you mothers, I'm sure, know the noises in your house. You can tell the sound of some one playing in the sink, or jumping on the bed. Most noises around my house are recognizable to me. Even when my husband says "What was that?" I can reply with "Malachi must have jumped from the top bunk again." But this noise was different.
It went something like "Splat, Slosh, Slosh...Splat, Slosh, Slosh". Dropping what I was doing, I ran to the girls' bathroom. They had pulled out ALL of my towels, put them in the toilet and then thrown them on the floor! They had FLOODED my bathroom. There they were standing in water that was two inches deep, smiling up at me, so proud! Needless to say, I was in tears at this point! What on earth would cause a child to think of something like that?
It was then that I picked those two criminal minds up and threw them on the couch. (In a very loving, maternal way!) I was so upset at that point that I have no idea what it was that I said to (or screamed at) them but it was something like "Sit there! DON'T YOU MOVE!" While my babies sat on the couch whaling I went into the bathroom to clean up...which was a little hard to do considering the fact that they had used all of the clean towels to make the mess. I think I ended up using a couple of blankets!
I'm not sure if you noticed but, if you recall, I left what I was doing to find out what the sound was. Yup! What could be more tempting than a brand new bottle of Shout Gel? My girls certainly couldn't think of anything! I'm not gonna drag this one out. They covered...COVERED my wall with shout!
Did I learn my lesson? NOPE! In a horrid rant...YELLING and SCREAMING, I flew into a wiping-up-the-mess-furry...I think I was using the blankets that I had just cleaned up toilet water with. All the time I'm facing the wall (still yelling) and cleaning (I eventually ended up leaving it for my husband to do) I hadn't even noticed that the girls had left the room!
Okay, I consider myself a reasonably intelligent person, but come on! Would it have taken a genius to figure out that they were going to get into more trouble. Then I heard it...CRASH! The girls had climbed up into my pantry and pushed every can off of my second shelf! How they didn't end up with a broken toe/finger/hand/foot, Ill never know!
Looking into those to angelic faces I began to laugh...and then cry...and then laugh again. I picked up my two precious little angels and locked them in their cribs! :D There they stayed until Daddy came home! I decided that poop wasn't so bad. It's hard to believe that all of that happen in just over two hours, but it did. John came home and messes got cleaned. The girls got hugged and played with...and we all survived!
Nothing could have prepared me for that day...Nothing! But that day prepared me for the next 10 years of parenting. I will never be caught off guard by a toddler again. Sure I've had some surprises along the way but I have never lost controll or had a melt down like that day. I think that's why the Lord gave me my girls first... to prepare me for all of the other children!
Saturday, March 8, 2008
Now...as I sit here sit here I can here my children squeel with delight as Bambi and Thumper jump through the field and meet Flower (the skunk)... I love IT!!! It's kind of one of those teary moments. I love how amazed my children are at the art in the movie! My two oldest were just discussing with my husband how an animated film like this takes so many people to make it. I love that my children (YES, EVEN THE OLDER ONES) are so pure and Innocent that a movie like Bambi can truly entertain them.
Any way, today was just one of those nice days. I've really been needing one too. Minimal whining from children, happiness, and lots and lots of sunshine! It seemed as though all of our kids were better so we took a walk to the park. The kids played and played. John and I even got to play a little basket ball. It was more like two out of shape goofballs trying to get the basket ball in the hoop...but it was fun anyway.
My mother in law showed up with gifts for the kiddies today! She bought all of them coordinating Easter outfit. YIPEE! She got the boys each a yellow dress shirt with a blue striped tie and the twins got matching pink dresses and the three younger ones got pink dresses too. She also bout khaki pants for Ammon and Malachi (Gabie has plenty) I'm scheduling pictures next week!!!!!
On a sad note...It seems that we are NOT over the colds. BLEH! We got home and a couple of children were complaining about being cold. Uh Oh! Fevers were coming up and noses were getting clogged. I too am drugged up pretty good in order to save my poor nose from as much tissue rubbing as possible.
Well I just wanted to share my nice day with every one (but not our colds) I'll write again soon!
Friday, March 7, 2008
Any way, between being sick myself, dealing with my sick hacking children and husband (darling as they may be) and trying to maintain my house I really had had my fill of trying to be cheery. When all your energy is spent it just seems to take to much out of you when you think someone is being foolish.
A friend of mine called me this week to tell me all about how horrid her husband is...AGAIN! Knowing her situation isn't the best I tried to be patient and listen. Please keep in mind that this friend is a temple endowed mother of five. As she went down the list of crimes her husband has been committing recently, and not so recently, and last year, and 5years ago, and so on... It began to wear on my patience!
This woman is one of my dearest friends but some times I feel like I am listening to a recording of previous conversations. She tells me how her husband doesn't obey certain commandments pertaining to marriage (non of which are serious infractions) and I remind her that he is human and tell her she needs to forgive him. At which she begins to tell me she does forgive him...and then gives me the list of all of the things she has forgiven him for! Ahhh!
Do I have the word forgive all wrong? Isn't part of forgiving...forgetting? I know it's impossible to completely erase some things from your memory but my husband and Ihave this unwritten rule. We don't rehash past arguments. If I mulled over all of the sins that John has committed toward me and our children over the past 11 years of marriage there would be NO WAY for us to live in harmony. I assume that the same would be true if he were to maintain a running list of my infractions.
So any way, there I go again listing my values and thoughts on marriage and husbands...I could write a book. Heaven knows I have plenty of opinions! She's too picky...If she doesn't like fighting she should STOP... She should be more patient...more loving...more kind...blah, blah, blah...
All of a sudden, in the middle of a sentence, I realize that I am saying exactly what I need to hear! My friend jumped off the phone with me super fast. She always does when I start to tell her she's wrong. So there I was sitting..and THINKING. It seems that every time I start to become annoyed with my husband this friend calls. So I began to wonder and I've been thinking about it.
Could it be that my heavenly Father knows what I know, and knows that I just need to be reminded of that knowledge from time to time. Hmmmmm. Pretty interesting when you think about it.
I do not ever want to become a "husband brasher" again! I was one once and it nearly destroyed my marriage. I worked hard to get out of that habit. I truly believe that my friend is the very image that I could become and it scares me more than I can say. When I have been married more than 20 years (as my friend has) I would hate to be so bitter and angry toward my husband. The years of angry nasty feelings, I fear, will destroy their marriage and children eventually.
I pray that the Lord continues to guide me in loving and forgiving my husband on a regular basis. I pray that my husband will always be as forgiving of my faults as he is now. I am so thankful for my marriage and my family and the gospel that is such a part of our daily life.
I don't really know if there is a point to any of what I say and I am sure I'll need to proof read some things but all I know is that we, American women, would just get over that "Women are the dominant species" crap, we would be a lot happier and the divorce rate would plummet to all time lows! Women, lets ban together and choose to support, love, understand, and reverence our husbands!
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Okay here is the final product! Pathetic! John liked it. His comment was... "Mmm... It tastes like Italian Bread!" IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE WHITE BREAD! It was very dense with a 1/4 to 1/2 inch thick, hard, crispy crust! AND it really didn't rise like I think it was supposed to! Ahhhhhhh!
This is my "bread cabinet" with every thing I could possibly need for making bread including: three different kind of flour, sugar, salt, and yeast!
I think it's probably the fact that there has never really been a domestic chore that I have not been able to try and turn out reasonably good results. Sewing hasn't really been an issue. Scrap booking, got it. House cleaning, eh, could be better, but not horrid. Gardening, getting there. Cooking, still learning and improving. Bread making, absolute failure...EVERY TIME! While none of those other things have ever been taught to me. I take pride in the fact that I am capable of reading a book and coming out with reasonable results.
When I was growing up, my Mom was more focused on bare survival, as are most single moms. Teaching me to make bread was most likely NOT on her list of things to do. I think that she still a little shocked that I turned out as domestic as I did. In a recent conversation I found out that my grandmother wasn't much of a cook either...Could this be genetic? ;)
Here's the thing, while I was growing up I saw MANY LDS moms make bread. It's what they do, right? While I certainly don't grade my mothering on my ability to make bread. I do have this picture in my brain of sitting in the dining room while Sister Filmore (I think she had like nine kids) kneaded her dough...or Sis Montgomry (had at least 5 that I remember) letting me have my own loaf to make a smiley face in... Or Sis Chapin (had about 13 or something like that) with that REALLY sweet honey wheat bread, mmmmmm, I can still smell it! Thinking back, I remember actually PLANNING to bake bread with my daughters. I wanted my girls to have the memories of kneading and baking and smelling home made bread...and it just isn't happening.
Here I am... failing every stinkin' loaf. I've had friends come over and help (thanks Steph, Sister Leigh, and Amy), I've read on line, I've asked questions. I just don't know what else to do.
Is this just one of those things that I have to except the fact that I can not do...much like singing or dancing for others? Am I doomed to a breadless existence? What if something happens and I need to be able to make bread for my family's survival? Oh the frustration...
Monday, March 3, 2008
Or you might end up giving an unexpected bath!
The baby might end up in a swing set on the highest speed... while balanced on top of the couch!